Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Say Cheese

What do you do when you have some deer poop stuck in your teeth? Why, you floss of course! Find the gnarliest tree you can and then go to town chomping away at it until that nasty ol' deer poop is good and gone. To get the tree bark out of your teeth you just graze on some green grass; don't worry if you swallow any because later you can just barf it up at 3am on the hardwood at the back door.

When you are pregnant obviously you have to be more careful about what you eat so Leeloo recommends chasing deer poop with a little apple tree branch. Careful not to eat too much otherwise you might end up hacking it all up at 3am by the back door. How embarrassing.

And nothing beats a nice stick chew with your Honey. Aren't they adorable, sharing is what makes being in a relationship so wonderful. Until you snap off your end of the stick and sneak away with it. Boy would never do that. Leeloo? Leeloo ...? Uh, Leeloo, you greedy little bitch. She's such a girl.

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