Friday, November 2, 2007

Poo Foot

When you have dogs inevitable things happen that involve bodily functions dogs have no control over. The longer you own dogs the less affected you are by this phenomenon. I can recall sifting through vomit, being sprayed with a mixture of pee and shit, pee on my bed, a dog vomiting in my lap, scraping shit out of the intricate tread of a shoe, stepping in a pool of pee in socks, I could go on and on. Invariably all of these things happen or are realized at the most inconvenient time; pee on the bed is discovered at midnight after a long day, the shit spray happens when you're dressed for work and already late- it's the primary law of dog ownership.

So today I will etch another notch into the collar of dog ownership. Everyday the dogs go out first thing while I prepare their food. Everyday they come racing in, career around the corner and gallop down the hall. So today as they go streaking by I think "I smell poo."

Because I'm standing at the open back door I think nothing of it because who's to know - wafting fresh poo from the yard can't be unusual can it? I'm pretty good at cleaning up the yard but 6:30am in my jammies ain't happening EVER.

So off I toddle to put down the dishes and as I step into the hallway to shut the door foot meets squadge of poo. Barefoot. I prefer barefoot over sock foot or intricate tread shoe so I'm not so bad off. I think it's Petal because the only dog EVER to come into the house and bring her poo with her is Petal. Sometimes it gets stuck in her coat around her bum, we wrestle in the tub to get it off, scissor the hair and it's all good again. But today she was innocent.

I walk on my heel to get the food down and since I only leave myself a finite amount of time in the morning I glance at the Raimi sized shit prints and turn the other cheek(for the moment). I step into the shower and wash off my foot and then get out and prepare for my day. While I'm doing so The Boy, for some reason only known to 7 1/2 month old puppies, climbs into the tub and gazes up at me through my duck shower curtain. Cute but has consequences.

He steps out after a moment of Raimi thought and instead of having a mostly dry poo foot he now has a sloppy wet poo foot. He exits the bathroom but slips on the tile leaving a couple thin streaks of poo the size of his foot and jumps onto my bed. Fortunately I have a dog blanket on my bed to protect the duvet cover but STILL. I tell him to get the F*** off my bed. I finish getting ready for work and turn a blind eye to the poo prints in my hall.

So tonight instead of a quick getaway to avoid teeth grinding traffic out of the city - I have to wash my floor so I don't come home on Sunday to poo prints.

AND I washed the floor last night.

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