The Waterboy

Ah spring. I think my favorite part of spring is the smell of it. Everything smells new and fresh and full of promise for the coming year. I can imagine if you’re a dog it’s an over-whelming barrage of information that causes some serious brain overload especially if you’re The Boy.

He does something that boys do and frankly – it makes The Boy’s company a little less welcome when he does it. When we are at the park and he’s poking his nose into every nook and cranny he gets foamy. Momma’s pee is especially foam inducing but pretty much any smell that excites him gets those teeth chattering and the waterworks turn on.

You don’t want a dog doing this anywhere near you. For starters once it’s in foam form it’s volume increases and the adhersion to objects also increases. A head shake will normally rid the flews (flappy lips) of the bulk of foam but the balance always seems to find it’s way onto something I inevitably need to touch. My pocket, Halo’s collar, the stick I was going to throw for him. He also usually wants to tell me all about the wonderful thing he’s just smelled and comes to drool and wipe his mouth on my pants whereupon we dance around for a second while I try to avoid getting slimed and he thinks it's a game.

I’m not interested. Get away from me. Oh gawd …. ew.

I have a deep seated admiration for dog owners who will wipe their dog’s drool with their actual and unprotected hand. Admiration over-shadowed by mild nausea but admiration just the same. No way I’m touching that – it’s sticky, slimy, smeary and hard to get off. If one of my dogs slimes the other I’ll get a stick and try to scrape it off – but I’m not touching it.

The only thing worse than my own dog’s drool on my own dogs … another dog’s drool on one of my dogs. At that point I try not to look directly at my dog and hope that someone else is the subject of a full body wipe where it ends up on their clothes and not mine. Blood I can handle no problem …

Halo doesn’t drool a lot unless she’s waiting for food or just had a drink – she has tighter flews and is frankly far more dignified. The Boy will continue to chatter and foam and I love him anyway but sometimes it’s from afar.